More Middle School Gold

So, I'm handing out a five page test. The conversation proceeds as follows.

Me: Does everyone have five pages?

(Crickets)

Me: Count your pages. Does everyone have five?

Student: Are we supposed to have five?

Me: Yes. Are you missing one?

Student: No. I have five.

Wondering why my students imagine me randomly concocting numbers in my head for no reason, I recalled some more quotable goodness.

Me(deadpan): Since you didn't finish your tests by the end of class, you all get zeros. (brief pause) just kidding. Turn them in, and we'll finish them next week (to everyone's credit, they were loooong tests)

Student (laughing): I thought you were serious!

Me: You really thought I was going to randomly punish you with a zero?

All: Yes.

So flattering.