Favorite Quotes

I'm not sure if anyone ever reads them old quotes on facebook, but I was recently thinking back on some of my favorite and decided to share. Enjoy.


It's not polite to speak when...no one wants to hear what you have to say. (from How to Be Good)

Anyone who speaks German can't be bad (random juror in the Simpsons)

It doesn't bother me in the least to deliberate whether the beating was disgraceful or not, but the blows, which will remain as deeply impressed in my memory as they are on my back, really hurt. (Sancho Panza in Don Quixote)

This is the worst kind of discrimination. The kind against me! (Bender the robot in Futurama)

All you care about is my soul. (some kid who attended a youth group one time)

Who needs courage when you have a gun? (Professor Farnsworth in Futurama)

Record company executive: Many of your fans are Christians. They don't want you singing to murderers and rapists to cheer them up.

Johnny Cash: I guess they're not real Christians then.
(Walk the Line)

The teachers taught me that life was all about survival of the fittest, but when I stole stuff from the stockroom they threw me out.
(Sprog)

I find your ideas interesting and would like to subscribe to your newsletter. (Homer J. Simpson)

I don't want to survive. I want to live! (from Wall E)

God made us for Himself--this is the only explanation that satisfies the heart of a thinking man, whatever his wild reason may say. (AW Tozer)

That crazy old man in church was right! (Grandpa Simpson, unwittingly referring to himself)

Yes, it's gotten so bad that Americans are actually reading. (Steve Colbert, from the Colbert Report)

Religious Etiquette.
If you're at a social function and a benediction is said and the God invoked is not your own, it's a good idea to mutter, roll your eyes, and smirk, so your God will know that you're not taken in by some false God. (Dan Liebert, verbal cartoonist)

i prefer the name h1n1. it sounds like disease bingo (Steven Colbert)

Lying in the darkness, he knew he was an outcast. "'Cos I had some sense." (Lord of the Flies)

Did you ever think those hippos weren't hungry and we were just force feeding them? (The Sneeze)