I'm actually posting a funny article that isn't from the Onion. I don't know why, but sometimes these things just happen. It's from on online magazine called McSweeney's, and yeah, I had to share. Enjoy.
SENTENCES THAT,
IF USED BY JUDGES
IN A SPELLING BEE,
WOULD PROVE
TOTALLY UNHELPFUL
TO CONTESTANTS
ATTEMPTING TO DERIVE
THE MEANING OF
THE WORD.
BY JACK SCHNEIDER AND MOSES RIFKIN
- - - -
"The spelling-bee contestant did not know how to spell the word ______."
"The word you have been asked to spell is ______."
"______-______-bo-______-bananna-fanna-fo-______-fee-fy-fo-______. ______!"
"My third favorite word is ______."
"Cinderella, wanting desperately to attend the ball, wished for her fairy godmother to grant her a wish. Her fairy godmother appeared and granted the wish, noting, however, that Cinderella would only be transformed until midnight. If you had a fairy godmother right now, you would probably wish for her to help you spell ______, even if it meant that you would only know how to spell that word until midnight."
"After correctly spelling ______, the contestant went back to getting teased by his/her classmates."
"______ is a word you will never hear outside these halls."
"Ten years from now you will run into someone on the street who, having watched the spelling bee on ESPN2, and thinking he/she is an expert on matters with which he/she clearly is not familiar, will smile, approach you warmly, and say, 'Hey, can you spell ______ now???'"
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