Things I would Never Complain About

Many people use online journals as an opportunity to vent. There seems to be some therapeutic value in typing out, "Dear diary, I was so mad today!"

Not for me. I keep all my gripes locked within my various ulcers, where they belong.

Here's a sampling of complaints you'd never hear from me.

I think my landlord is in the Korean mafia. If you know me, you are probably thinking, "He says that about everyone." And you're right. But, anyone could be in the Korean mafia. Even you.

Still, in this particular case I have my reasons.

I was taking out my food trash one evening when a car pulled up beside me. The window rolled down, revealing my landlord's godfather-esque grin. "Your TV was too loud this afternoon," she said through her smile. "You didn't answer the door."

This didn't phase me much, considering the racket our thoughtful neighbors make at 4:00 in the morning. If they slept at night, a little noise in the afternoon wouldn't be a problem.

I said nothing, but smiled and nodded.

"One more thing," she added, "This month's pay is 30,000 won."

This is the issue. Every month we pay rent and utilities by having it deducted from our bank account. However, the landlady pays us a visit every couple of months or so asking for cash.

Apparently, this pays for the water. I think it's only for cold, as the hot water doesn't work too well. When we mentioned this, she sent her son to explain that "blue means cold and red means hot". Gold star for courtesy.

Regardless of the water issue, I feel obliged to pay the $30. If we don't, thugs may barge in with knives, bats, fish, or whatever weapons Korean bad guys use instead of guns. 30,000 won is a small price to pay when avoiding a nasty bludgeoning.

If I was venting, I'd feel so much better right now. Fortunately for whoever is reading this, I don't do that.