Saturday, October 31, 2009
Gifts and Curses
I just watched Drag Me to Hell, and I was surprised to learn a valuable lesson. Never deny a loan to a creepy gypsy woman. You'll regret it. And don't play "button,button, who's got the button" either. Just so you know.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Thursday, October 29, 2009
More Student Quotes
So, I'm giving my middle schoolers basic information about an upcoming assignment, then I say more information is to be announced. After the last three words, I add, "TBA".
"What's TBA?"
Cut to my ESL class with a sixth grader. I throw out a question on a test because I realized we didn't cover the rule for it in class. She already answered it right, and argues she should get extra credit.
"I can't give you extra credit. You guessed."
"I didn't guess!" she insists. "I use context!"
She got extra credit for "context". We English teachers like words like that.
"What's TBA?"
Cut to my ESL class with a sixth grader. I throw out a question on a test because I realized we didn't cover the rule for it in class. She already answered it right, and argues she should get extra credit.
"I can't give you extra credit. You guessed."
"I didn't guess!" she insists. "I use context!"
She got extra credit for "context". We English teachers like words like that.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Friday, October 23, 2009
Kingpins Gone Wild
Depending on your sensibilities, the article posted below will make you laugh or cry. The comments are funny/insightful (respectively) as well. I wish I had an action movie quote to add, but it just isn't happening. Enjoy.
http://burnsidewriters.com/2009/10/22/breaking-news-wild-at-heart-inspiration-for-drug-kingpins/
http://burnsidewriters.com/2009/10/22/breaking-news-wild-at-heart-inspiration-for-drug-kingpins/
Sunday, October 18, 2009
"New" Music
The snob in me may be slowly dying, but he's still glad the quotation marks fit better over new than music. He holds his nose up high, mutters some cliche about quality over quantity and moves on. Moving on...
I got three new CDs over the weekend and promptly added them to my iPod. I'm still pondering them, but I'm enjoying them quite a bit. So for a few brief recommends, here goes:
1.Modern Guilt,Beck. It's a cross between Beck's latest two, sound wise, and the lyrics are more accessible than usual. The title song's sound is weird enough yet catchy in that Beck sort of way to keep me listening to the words. Modern guilt is shown as feeling bad when you don't know what you did. Makes for great conversation. After all, I'm not that bad of a person, am I? I mean, I know why everyone else should feel guilty, but I'm okay.
2. Wait for Me, Moby. Initially, I was a bit disappointed. Moby's latest isn't super-catchy in the "I can't sit still" vein of some of my favorites. Actually, many of the songs are not only low-key but also instrumental. So much for my work-out mix. What to do with my head band, I have no idea.
The longer I listened, the more I "got" it. It's supposed to be low key, a sort of straightforward un-newagey Enigma. And it has the intriguing mixes of choirs and spirituals with an occasional beat. It's moodier and less upbeat, but I like it. If you take it for what it is, it works.
3. The Resistance, Muse. If Queen and Radiohead had a baby and he/she drank a Red Bull then fell down a flight of stairs, you might have something that sounds like Muse. I like having an album for comic relief that's still admirably well-made, and Muse has that. The one I'd share with friends is still Black Holes and Revelations, as The Resistance is an acquired taste. However, if I really need some time off from work, playing this album a lot could make a decent plan B. If that doesn't work, Plan C, or "Operation: Sing Along" should do the trick.
I got three new CDs over the weekend and promptly added them to my iPod. I'm still pondering them, but I'm enjoying them quite a bit. So for a few brief recommends, here goes:
1.Modern Guilt,Beck. It's a cross between Beck's latest two, sound wise, and the lyrics are more accessible than usual. The title song's sound is weird enough yet catchy in that Beck sort of way to keep me listening to the words. Modern guilt is shown as feeling bad when you don't know what you did. Makes for great conversation. After all, I'm not that bad of a person, am I? I mean, I know why everyone else should feel guilty, but I'm okay.
2. Wait for Me, Moby. Initially, I was a bit disappointed. Moby's latest isn't super-catchy in the "I can't sit still" vein of some of my favorites. Actually, many of the songs are not only low-key but also instrumental. So much for my work-out mix. What to do with my head band, I have no idea.
The longer I listened, the more I "got" it. It's supposed to be low key, a sort of straightforward un-newagey Enigma. And it has the intriguing mixes of choirs and spirituals with an occasional beat. It's moodier and less upbeat, but I like it. If you take it for what it is, it works.
3. The Resistance, Muse. If Queen and Radiohead had a baby and he/she drank a Red Bull then fell down a flight of stairs, you might have something that sounds like Muse. I like having an album for comic relief that's still admirably well-made, and Muse has that. The one I'd share with friends is still Black Holes and Revelations, as The Resistance is an acquired taste. However, if I really need some time off from work, playing this album a lot could make a decent plan B. If that doesn't work, Plan C, or "Operation: Sing Along" should do the trick.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Snobs Anonymous
Hi, I'm Matt and...I'm a snob. (pause for responsive greeting)
I realize this every time I get offended by a movie not just for sucking, but for the potentiality of suckage. I may get excited about a premise, then scan a review preferably without spoilers. Suddenly, I won't want to see that movie anymore.
I like movies that are entertaining, well-made and intellectually challenging. Most people I know like movies with explosions and/or poo throwing humor. And guess what's most common in the theaters where I live.
There is no shortage of opportunities to be gracious with others, and this may be one of the silliest, but it exists. I may have standards, but are they worth becoming Standards? If I'm serving a what over a who, I need to take some steps back. Besides, entertainment, (gulps) well, (sighs) isn't everything.
I said it. Happy?
P.S. Don't get me started on the soundtracks.
I realize this every time I get offended by a movie not just for sucking, but for the potentiality of suckage. I may get excited about a premise, then scan a review preferably without spoilers. Suddenly, I won't want to see that movie anymore.
I like movies that are entertaining, well-made and intellectually challenging. Most people I know like movies with explosions and/or poo throwing humor. And guess what's most common in the theaters where I live.
There is no shortage of opportunities to be gracious with others, and this may be one of the silliest, but it exists. I may have standards, but are they worth becoming Standards? If I'm serving a what over a who, I need to take some steps back. Besides, entertainment, (gulps) well, (sighs) isn't everything.
I said it. Happy?
P.S. Don't get me started on the soundtracks.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Movies I Want To See
Was there a real-life Spinal Tap? This question and more could be answered, if I ever find this DVD.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FF4H8lB2Y_o
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FF4H8lB2Y_o
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
On Antiques, Roads and Shows
Thought I'd share something I found on McSweeney's. So, this is the future. Hmmm.
SELECTED
TRANSCRIPTS FROM
ANTIQUES ROADSHOW 2025.
BY CRAIG KLEIN
- - - -
(An elderly woman stands next to an old refrigerator.)
APPRAISER: What can you tell me about this refrigerator you have brought?
WOMAN: Well, I acquired this back in 1993. It was in an old warehouse that was being torn down across the street from where I was living at the time, so I took it. I've had it just as something to look at and store junk in ever since. I really have no idea of the value.
APPRAISER: I see. This is a W-Series Frigidaire from 1930. It's from a time when refrigerators were still transitioning from older iceboxes. As you can see, the hardware, hinges and lock mechanism are very large, resembling the iceboxes in style. The cabinet is a beautiful white porcelain, which is set off by the curving scrollwork of the hinges. As far as value is concerned, unfortunately there were quite a few of these made, and they are rather large and cumbersome. It's really not worth much more than the scrap metal.
WOMAN: (disappointed) Oh, I see.
APPRAISER: Fortunately for you, though, you still have this original corrugated cardboard box that contained the fridge when it was shipped from the factory. These are almost never found.
WOMAN: The fridge was in it when I nabbed it, and I just kept it in a corner all these years.
APPRAISER: It's great that you did! The box alone is worth much more that the refrigerator. It can be used for shelter from the cold and wind since all of the structures were destroyed in the Cash for Clunkers riots. Together with a tarpaulin, it can be made waterproof for the rain and snow. And even though it isn't ideal protection from the firestorms, this is indeed quite a find!
WOMAN: (very excited) Oh...thank you! Oh, my...wait until my husband hears about this!
APPRAISER: If only the refrigerator were large enough to crawl in, you would be very lucky indeed.
(Banner Reads: "Cardboard Shipping Box, ca. 1930s. Shelter.")
- - - -
(A middle-aged man sits across from the appraiser. On the table before them is an old book on a stand.)
APPRAISER: Tell me about your book.
MAN: This is a first printing of The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain, published in 1883. My great-great-great-grandfather purchased it when he was a kid, just after the book came out. It's been in the family ever since.
APPRAISER: It is in exquisite condition, and has an interesting story associated with it. (Opens the book to the title page). Tell us about this signature here.
MAN: Well, so the family legend goes, my great-great-great-grandfather was reading this book while eating chocolate pudding. So he got some pudding on his thumb, which he accidentally smudged on the book, where it left that thumbprint you see there. So, a few weeks later, Mr. Twain was in town to promote the book, and my ancestor went to see him. After the show, he got Twain's autograph, plus that sketch there.
APPRAISER: And here he used the smudge as the head of a little stick character, and he writes, "To Master Wilson, you Pudd'nhead. Mark Twain." This is an extraordinary piece of historic literature. Not only, it is a first-edition Huck Finn, but it showcases a very personal moment with the author in which the humor he is known for is on display. And also, it might just be the exact moment where Twain comes up with his idea for his later work, Pudd'nhead Wilson, published in 1893, in which a very early use of fingerprinting is used to solve a crime. It's absolutely extraordinary. Do you have any guess as to what it might be worth?
MAN: No idea.
APPRAISER: Well, conservatively speaking, this piece could be lit on fire and used to heat a whole meal, or an average sized room—that is, if it's roofed.
MAN: (with a quiet, pleased contentment) Really! Do you think it could heat up the area of an alley surrounding a steel barrel?
APPRAISER: Yes, but probably not for very long.
(Banner reads: "First Edition Book, 1883. Heat.")
- - - -
(A young woman sits across a table from the appraiser. On the carpeted tabletop is a rotating platform holding a Greek-style vase.)
APPRAISER: Tell me how you acquired this piece.
WOMAN: I was working at a rummage sale a few years ago, and I found it in one of the boxes that someone had donated. Paid five dollars for it.
APPRAISER: I see. What do you know about this vase?
WOMAN: Well, I think it's Greek, and the pictures around the sides kind of tell a story.
APPRAISER: Well, yes, it is Greek; it's called a Loutrophoros, which means "carrier of wash water." It was used in ceremonies. Often they would have scenes of wedding processions, but this one is a bit different. It depicts one of Aesop's fables, "The Crow and the Pitcher." If we start here, we see a crow standing next to a likeness of this same water vessel. It is thirsty and trying to get a drink of the water inside, but the pitcher is too narrow. The next picture shows the crow dropping objects into the pitcher from a nearby box. It appears that it is using small coins and gems. I'm not sure what the reason for that is. In the traditional fable pebbles are used.
WOMAN: Very strange.
APPRAISER: In the last frame the water level has risen high enough so that the crow can get a lifesaving drink with its beak.
WOMAN: Interesting.
APPRAISER: I would date it as being made sometime between 500 and 200 B.C. The artwork is stunning, both the glazing and the clay-work. The condition is superb. As to the value—I have discussed it with a few other appraisers, and we think that, in this market, it's suited perfectly for repelling the zombies. The long neck is an ideal handle, and the bottom can be struck against a solid object to smash it. This would create a very irregular and sharp surface, given the density and cleaving properties of the clay. It could then be used to stab at their heads, which, according to the public service announcements, is the only way to take the zombies out. It's absolutely wonderful!
WOMAN: (thrilled, near tears) Oh my gosh!
APPRAISER: It's a tremendous find. Any museum would be glad to have it. They could use it to arm a guard or to kill zombie guards. And on the other side of the coin, I, for one, would be thrilled if the last thing I saw in this life was this beautiful artwork as it sliced into my rotting flesh.
(Banner Reads: "Greek Water Vessel, 500-200 B.C. Weapon.")
SELECTED
TRANSCRIPTS FROM
ANTIQUES ROADSHOW 2025.
BY CRAIG KLEIN
- - - -
(An elderly woman stands next to an old refrigerator.)
APPRAISER: What can you tell me about this refrigerator you have brought?
WOMAN: Well, I acquired this back in 1993. It was in an old warehouse that was being torn down across the street from where I was living at the time, so I took it. I've had it just as something to look at and store junk in ever since. I really have no idea of the value.
APPRAISER: I see. This is a W-Series Frigidaire from 1930. It's from a time when refrigerators were still transitioning from older iceboxes. As you can see, the hardware, hinges and lock mechanism are very large, resembling the iceboxes in style. The cabinet is a beautiful white porcelain, which is set off by the curving scrollwork of the hinges. As far as value is concerned, unfortunately there were quite a few of these made, and they are rather large and cumbersome. It's really not worth much more than the scrap metal.
WOMAN: (disappointed) Oh, I see.
APPRAISER: Fortunately for you, though, you still have this original corrugated cardboard box that contained the fridge when it was shipped from the factory. These are almost never found.
WOMAN: The fridge was in it when I nabbed it, and I just kept it in a corner all these years.
APPRAISER: It's great that you did! The box alone is worth much more that the refrigerator. It can be used for shelter from the cold and wind since all of the structures were destroyed in the Cash for Clunkers riots. Together with a tarpaulin, it can be made waterproof for the rain and snow. And even though it isn't ideal protection from the firestorms, this is indeed quite a find!
WOMAN: (very excited) Oh...thank you! Oh, my...wait until my husband hears about this!
APPRAISER: If only the refrigerator were large enough to crawl in, you would be very lucky indeed.
(Banner Reads: "Cardboard Shipping Box, ca. 1930s. Shelter.")
- - - -
(A middle-aged man sits across from the appraiser. On the table before them is an old book on a stand.)
APPRAISER: Tell me about your book.
MAN: This is a first printing of The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain, published in 1883. My great-great-great-grandfather purchased it when he was a kid, just after the book came out. It's been in the family ever since.
APPRAISER: It is in exquisite condition, and has an interesting story associated with it. (Opens the book to the title page). Tell us about this signature here.
MAN: Well, so the family legend goes, my great-great-great-grandfather was reading this book while eating chocolate pudding. So he got some pudding on his thumb, which he accidentally smudged on the book, where it left that thumbprint you see there. So, a few weeks later, Mr. Twain was in town to promote the book, and my ancestor went to see him. After the show, he got Twain's autograph, plus that sketch there.
APPRAISER: And here he used the smudge as the head of a little stick character, and he writes, "To Master Wilson, you Pudd'nhead. Mark Twain." This is an extraordinary piece of historic literature. Not only, it is a first-edition Huck Finn, but it showcases a very personal moment with the author in which the humor he is known for is on display. And also, it might just be the exact moment where Twain comes up with his idea for his later work, Pudd'nhead Wilson, published in 1893, in which a very early use of fingerprinting is used to solve a crime. It's absolutely extraordinary. Do you have any guess as to what it might be worth?
MAN: No idea.
APPRAISER: Well, conservatively speaking, this piece could be lit on fire and used to heat a whole meal, or an average sized room—that is, if it's roofed.
MAN: (with a quiet, pleased contentment) Really! Do you think it could heat up the area of an alley surrounding a steel barrel?
APPRAISER: Yes, but probably not for very long.
(Banner reads: "First Edition Book, 1883. Heat.")
- - - -
(A young woman sits across a table from the appraiser. On the carpeted tabletop is a rotating platform holding a Greek-style vase.)
APPRAISER: Tell me how you acquired this piece.
WOMAN: I was working at a rummage sale a few years ago, and I found it in one of the boxes that someone had donated. Paid five dollars for it.
APPRAISER: I see. What do you know about this vase?
WOMAN: Well, I think it's Greek, and the pictures around the sides kind of tell a story.
APPRAISER: Well, yes, it is Greek; it's called a Loutrophoros, which means "carrier of wash water." It was used in ceremonies. Often they would have scenes of wedding processions, but this one is a bit different. It depicts one of Aesop's fables, "The Crow and the Pitcher." If we start here, we see a crow standing next to a likeness of this same water vessel. It is thirsty and trying to get a drink of the water inside, but the pitcher is too narrow. The next picture shows the crow dropping objects into the pitcher from a nearby box. It appears that it is using small coins and gems. I'm not sure what the reason for that is. In the traditional fable pebbles are used.
WOMAN: Very strange.
APPRAISER: In the last frame the water level has risen high enough so that the crow can get a lifesaving drink with its beak.
WOMAN: Interesting.
APPRAISER: I would date it as being made sometime between 500 and 200 B.C. The artwork is stunning, both the glazing and the clay-work. The condition is superb. As to the value—I have discussed it with a few other appraisers, and we think that, in this market, it's suited perfectly for repelling the zombies. The long neck is an ideal handle, and the bottom can be struck against a solid object to smash it. This would create a very irregular and sharp surface, given the density and cleaving properties of the clay. It could then be used to stab at their heads, which, according to the public service announcements, is the only way to take the zombies out. It's absolutely wonderful!
WOMAN: (thrilled, near tears) Oh my gosh!
APPRAISER: It's a tremendous find. Any museum would be glad to have it. They could use it to arm a guard or to kill zombie guards. And on the other side of the coin, I, for one, would be thrilled if the last thing I saw in this life was this beautiful artwork as it sliced into my rotting flesh.
(Banner Reads: "Greek Water Vessel, 500-200 B.C. Weapon.")
Friday, October 2, 2009
Happy Hinted Holidays
Happy Chusok, or Korean Thanksgiving! Of course, if I say "Have a good Chusok" in Korean I sound like a little baby. Everyone knows you don't actually say the name of the holiday or hope it goes well. It's just not cool or something.
Being a foreigner who spends too much time speaking foreign talk, I forgot the longer, super trendy way of greeting during the holiday. That being the case, I spent the last couple of days using baby talk. To my credit, the until-then unfriendly cab driver did smile at the greeting. To his credit, he might have been laughing at me.
Happy Chusok, everyone.
Being a foreigner who spends too much time speaking foreign talk, I forgot the longer, super trendy way of greeting during the holiday. That being the case, I spent the last couple of days using baby talk. To my credit, the until-then unfriendly cab driver did smile at the greeting. To his credit, he might have been laughing at me.
Happy Chusok, everyone.
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