Alternate Jobs

The future is uncertain. Maybe I'd get bored with teaching eventually, or life would get bored with me as a teacher. I made a list for posterity of all candidates for a "plan b". May the best plan win.

1. A barista at Starbucks. They will always have a special place in my heart after they saved our sanity at O' Hare airport. Coffee at 3:00 am. Thank you Starbucks, for caffeinating me.

2. The owner of a coffee shop. Forget barista. I don't even know what it means. Owner sounds nice. So does free coffee. Mmmmm.

3. A proofreader. You read my blog, spectacular and imaginary publishing company out there. Hire me!

4. The owner of a sushi restaurant. It's one of my favorite foods ever. It's also raw, so no cooking is necessary. And unlimited access to fish and wassabi is a plus. If you like it, which I do. And I have this giggle-worthy fantasy of screaming out, "You idiot! you cooked this!"

In Japanese, of course.

That's good enough for now, I'm sure. I'll let you know how the plan works out in a few years.

Updated Lord's Prayer

I stumbled across an update for our modern times to add to the Lord's prayer (aka the disciples prayer). Get your pencils and prayerbooks ready.

Forgive us our forwarded emails, as we forgive those who forward emails to us. If we don't, we must be ashamed of You.

Book Review #3

I just finished reading Jim and Casper Go to Church by Jim Henderson and Matt Casper. The introduction almost turned me off completely, but I'm glad I ignored my first impression and continued reading.

Jim Henderson is a pastor who is reevaluating how people "do church." He hired an atheist (Matt Casper) to be a "secret shopper" in church services. Jim's comparison to this business practice was what almost turned me off. He started by comparing churches to businesses. Ugh.

It turned out that premise aside, good could come from the dialogs these two had when they visited and observed churches. They took a road trip, armed with laptops and just a bit of cynicism. They visited big churches, small, and mid sized. Overall, it was a good experience and worth sharing with the reading public.

The part that hit me hardest was the fact that of all the churches these guys visited (12 in all) only one person approached them voluntarily. No one knew why they were there, so it had nothing to do with that. A friend of theirs even pointed this lack of communication out, disgusted, while they shrugged and said they were used to it by that point. It was normal to be ignored in church.

Sometimes what Casper said should be taken with a grain of salt (he is an atheist after all) but when the atheist complains "Why aren't they talking about Jesus" you know some thing's wrong.

My favorite parts are when Casper visited his drummer's house church (he plays in a rock band) for no reason other than their friendship. Jim didn't ask him to, as it was their day off. Casper even said he'd go again.

The drummer didn't want people thinking he was using the friendship to gain anything, because he wasn't. It was all based on relationship.

Another favorite part was when Jim and Casper were in a church that showed a movie. The message pointed clearly to the gospel (A man sacrificing his son's life for a group of unsympathetic people), and Casper admitted he felt moved.

And then the pastor opened his mouth. He felt the need to explain the obvious.

"Just tell the story", Casper insisted. Don't burn me at the stake or anything, but I agree with the atheist on that one.

He applied that to the Bible as well, as he didn't hear many stories from it. Instead he heard snippets of Scripture here and there. A lot of Scripture was taken out of context. You shouldn't take anything out of context, "...so you'd think it'd apply tenfold to the Bible!" Ouch.

They attended Imago Dei church and Mars Hill for "Emerging Church Weekend". The latter was a hellfire and brimstone list of don't s (minus the do s), but J&C seemed fairly impressed with the former.

I like how everyone at I D was involved in their community yet sang songs about the blood of Jesus. Of course Casper mentioned how creepy that sounds. I'm glad to hear the cross still causes offense.

My only issue with the book is that it could have taken Casper's advice about just telling the story. Jim interjects sections that sell his idea of what it means to develop relationships and refers to books he's written quite a few times. It reminds me of the pastor who talked after the movie. Let us interpret, will ya?

I enjoy the Q&A section that's included at the end of the book, where readers get to say "What about..." and J&C answer them. That's not the same as over-explaining.

Answering questions is good. I just think they shouldn't underestimate the story itself.

Thoughts on Lost

I heard the creators of "Lost" originally planned to kill off Jack in the first episode. Sort of a Scream-esque, anyone could die at any moment message. In the end they decided Jack was too important to kill off.

I enjoy "Lost" every now and then. (Who doesn't enjoy screaming at a TV "Tell me something! Anything! Just @&^$$*%& tell me!") It's a good show. But I think it would have been a lot more interesting without a hero.

Imagine Charley, Hurley, Jin, Sun, Claire, and the rest rising to the tasks without a Luke Wilson-lookalike doctor-surfer to lean on all the time. I'm sure the characters would have toughened up and grown.

It would be great, intriguing television. But it most likely wouldn't be what the audience wants.

Long live popular opinion.

Book Review # 2

I just finished reading How I Became Stupid by Martin Page . It had some great lines and descriptions that made me laugh out loud, but the story was a bit weak altogether. Like The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy series, strong on comedy and weak on story. Here are some of the high points.

1. Becoming stupid meant being a wealthy greedy stockbroker. He put value on superficial and material things. There's a touching description of his TV remote and how it became his pet.
2. Stupid people were described as "people with opinions". Always arguing, never listening. That's a strange parallel with another book I'm reading, Jim and Casper Go To Church. There's a lot in there about listening and the lack thereof. Spooky.
3. The protagonist, Antoine, becomes a stockbroker and learns how interesting that really is. As I mentioned in a previous blog, the description of his friends makes them out to be a colorful, sympathetic group of characters. They hate Antoine's decision to become stupid only because they care about him. Snobbery has nothing to do with it.
The stockbrokers, however, are flatter than pancakes run over by a truck then a steamroller five times. This was strategic and a nice touch.
4. The Simpsons is listed among geniuses. Dang Skippy.
5. "I have every right to complain."
"Okay... but... it can get exhausting. Don't you think there could be better things to do?"
6. He was poor when he was intelligent. His various interests resulted in multiple degrees that were not marketable in any way. (This relates to the video I posted a couple blogs back. Spoooky!)

I mentioned what I didn't like, and most of that is due to uneven voice. The author interjects his opinion even though the story is third person. Usually, I don't mind that but in this case it was distracting. He borrows tone from the Simpsons (that's fine since they're geniuses), Nick Hornby (not as fine since he doesn't do satire) , and probably others I'm unaware of.
The end was annoying and clunky. It read like Martin Page was watching two TVs at the same time, one showing Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and the other showing reruns of "Friends." Both good on their own, but together, ugh.

I'm not blasting the book, though. It was funny, and I'm sure it's a cliche' by now, but I like the "be content with what you have" message. I could complain about the low points, but I'm sure there are better things to do.

Music for a bad mood

Now that Bob Dylan is old and famous he can do whatever he wants. I'm thinking about this because I currently have his song "Ain't Talkin'" from Modern Times stuck in my head. He's earned the right to sing what he wants, and how he wants to.

The song is fairly long and moody, along with the story it sort of tells. It's haunting and speaks of revenge, suffering and desires more than bordering on hopeless. It has a mysterious quality as well, since we don't know exactly what it's talking about.

The music has a haunting minor sound to it, up until the last note, which is major. The lyrics don't suddenly get uplifting, but the last note does.

I listen to the song when I'm brooding every now and then. I brood with the mysterious protagonist as I wait for the strum. It almost seems tacked on, but it's there nonetheless.

I like that awkward strum. It encourages me. As frustrating and confusing as the situation seems, somewhere there's a strum of hope. Just a strum, but it's there.

The offense of the Lone Ranger

Reading books about what following Christ is and isn't reminded me of a video I saw a while back. A guy meets a Mormon in a parking lot and argues about why the Bible is right and Mormonism is wrong. He doesn't let the poor Mormon guy get a word in.

It was about as subtle and loving as a kick in the crotch.

In the end the frustrated young Mormon rides away on his bike, while the victorious hero beats his chest and all but bellows, "I'm the greatest!"

I just can't call that behavior Christian or remotely Christ-like.

Following Christ is about love in the most true, purest sense. It isn't about being right. It kills me inside that we still don't get it.

More about Creativity

The link below seems to fit with what I've been reading (see previous blog entry). It's long, but thoughtful and entertaining as well.

http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/view/id/66

Book Review # 1

I'm reading three books at once, and they're starting to blur together. Perhaps simultaneous reading isn't such a bright idea after all.

My next review will probably be of How I Became Stupid, a satire about a genius who decides his misery is caused by his intelligence. I'll talk more about it when I finish it, but one part that stands out is a character named Aas (meant to sound similar to "the part you sit on"). Due to tesing products containing phosphorus when he was a child, Aas glows in the dark and can only communicate through poetry. Envy of his simplicity and beauty seems to be an influence in the protagonist's decision to become, well, read the title if you don't know.

I did finish reading Searching for God knows What, and some similarities between the two books are noteworthy.

Donald Miller laments how something as beautiful and creative as the Bible has been reduced to a formulaic series of steps. He recalls how God seems to favor varied creative ways to express His will, such as storytelling and poetry. He especially contrasts poetry to lists and formulas. The point being that the way God expresses Himself is more relational than a series of steps.

The protagonist in the novel felt isolated because he knew too many facts. Both books seem to express a dissatisfaction with knowledge alone.

Am I reaching? Most likely. I'll let you know when I finish the other book.

And back to movies

Whenever I watch a Christian movie I get the urge to watch Tim Burton's biopic "Ed Wood."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=51U0f4VKXIg

Plan 9 from Outer Space was directed by Ed Wood and funded by Christians. It is also considered the worst movie ever made. And Christians have been putting out Ed Wood quality movies ever since.

Ed Wood convinced a "Baptist" church to fund his movie so they could generate funds to make a series about the twelve apostles. He insisted Plan 9 would be a blockbuster. He was wrong.

In the film, Burton portrays the "Baptists" as seeing the flaws in Ed Wood's directing abilities, yet in the end too weak to take a stand and pull out their funds. They trust the promises of a man in love with his work.

The results are tragic and funny, but when I watch Christian movies, I emphasize "tragic".

Book Reviews on the way

We just received a big box full of wonderful books. This adds to the pile I'm currently working on. All that to say, I'll be writing some book reviews soon.

Due to the ever-growing pile and some of my selections (Don Quixote? What was I thinking?) this is a long-term plan. Until I finally finish one, here's a piece on some of my old favorites.

1. Life of Pi by Yann Martel.
It's promoted as "a story that will make you believe in God." Uh, I already did, but the protagonist's musings on religion and faith affected the way I believe.

Confronted with two stories from the survivor of a shipwreck, people are challenged to believe the better story. I believe the Bible is true, but it also contains the better story.

2. Freakonomics
Think of the scene in Patch Adams where the old guy challenges Patch to "see past the fingers." That's what this book is like. An economist screams at everyone, "You're not really looking." He challenges conventional wisdom. He also makes everyone mad, conservative liberal or whatever. He must be doing something right.

3. Till We Have Faces by C.S. Lewis.
Only Clive Staples can use a Greek myth to examine divine perspectives on love. Well done, Jack.

4. Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis. Here's one perspective that reading this book changed.
Gluttony isn't about overeating, did you know that? It's about the obssession with food, "It must be done in such and such a way," etc. It sounds like a lot of fad diets these days.

5. The Curious Incident of The Dog In The Nighttime by Mark Hadden
I have to say this changed my perspective, because before I read this book I didn't have a clear idea of what being autistic would feel like. But this imaginative and entertaining read showed exactly that.

6. The Plague, by Albert Camus
It's a fictional case study of a quarantined village. There's nothing more challenging to one's faith than facing death.

7. The Lotus and the Cross: Jesus Talks to Budda, by Ravi Zacharius
It's an imagined conversation between Christ and the founder of Buddism. Ravi Zacharius lived with monks for a time to research for this book. That's dedication.

8. A Long Way Down by Nick Hornby

The genious in his writing is that Hornby creates a story about four people who decide not to jump to their deaths, then makes us question for the next few hundred pages whether that was the right decision. And as painful as that sounds, it's laugh-out-loud funny. Before I read this, I never knew slapstick could be done successfully in a novel. Thank you, Nick Hornby, for proving it can.


Much more to come.

P.S. I'm enjoying Don Quixote immensely, and I'll have plenty to share. However, it'll take a while.

What is Love?

Love Actually was on TV last week. I saw it before, but my wife hadn't, so we had a chance to enjoy it together. Most of it.

Its greatest strength is also its greatest weakness. It has a few short stories woven together, all having something to do with love. It transcends the typical romantic love story, as some of the stories don't involve romantic love at all. Two involve sacrificial love, one forgiving love, and several involve the love for one's family. Then there's one that just doesn't fit.

A British young man decides he isn't "getting any" because British women don't get him. So he flies to the US to meet women who are as horny and superficial as he is. He finds his heart's desire and then some.

There's something wrong with that story. It doesn't fit with the others. It's not even about love. It's American Pie, or Road Trip.

If the whole movie was typical of the romantic comedy or R-rated comedy genre, I wouldn't be so surprised. But if you show a little maturity, people start to expect more.